I’m at war and I don’t like it. The stress is not good for the unborn baby. But these goddamn monster squirrels refuse to leave my pots alone. True, they are mostly digging through my unplanted pots–where I am hoping to put nasturtium seeds as soon as I’m able to do anything again–so technically these monster rodents haven’t damaged any of my winter crop. But I don’t want them getting too comfortable out there, thinking those pots belong to them.
Since I’ve been on bed rest I spend most of my days on the couch facing out towards the deck, either knitting, talking on the phone or watching TV. I’d say at least once every two hours I catch one of the fat squirrels that inhabit my yard scurrying down the fig tree and right into one of my pots. Then I jump up, cringe in pain (I feel like an 85-year-old-obese-lady these days) and bang on the sliding glass doors that lead to the deck. The squirrels don’t seem to care and keep right on digging. It’s not until I open the door and start marching out there clapping my hands and shouting that they reluctantly run away.
I once sent my dog out to get them but he wound up jumping right into the half barrel with the grapevine in it. I think he caused more damage than the squirrels did so now I try to leave him out of it.
I don’t know what to do. I’m sure I could go down the internet tunnel and learn all sorts of squirrel defense tricks, but I don’t want netting all over My Patio Farm. The idea is for the pots to be productive and aesthetically pleasing. However, if the squirrels get into my nasturtium seeds when I finally get planted, things might be different. What I really wish is that I had a shotgun. I’m not usually a violent person, but you know what they say–all’s fair in love and squirrel war.